3rd May 2003...mom broke the news that dad was not ready to send me back to the ashram...and that aftrenoon i cried..and things went on..and life was never the same....what i was would never again be a part of what i am...and what i am woud never be what i was....life's changed..i ve known and forgotten people...ive made friends ..lost friends....lots of things...but life simply refuses to be what it was there .....
23rd june 2007.....tears rolled down my cheeks..incessantly...when I saw Swamiji's throne..He wasn't there ...but the ashram was stilll the way it was the last time i saw it....doors which were once open to me had closed upin me...i was an alien in my own home......there were some nostalgic moments....some pricks ..some pangs...remembered the last time we all ran to get into Swamiji's room for a Trayee session....part of my heart wants them all back..a part is happy with what i have..but yeah ...Swamiji still comes into my dreams reminding me thata He is not far away...or rather ....optimistically..i haven't drifted too far away...
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